The Futility Monster

He'll pointlessly derive more enjoyment out of your resources than you

Artificial Meat? That’s A Bit Weird…

Posted by The Futility Monster on August 16, 2010 @ 10:29

A vegetarian's favourite question! Guaranteed to irritate and annoy. But that's meat-eaters for you!

As a vegetarian, this story got me rather interested this morning…

Artificial meat grown in vats may be needed if the 9 billion people expected to be alive in 2050 are to be adequately fed without destroying the earth, some of the world’s leading scientists report today.

Erm. Yes. The thought of growing cow or pig muscle in a vat, being kept “alive” by regular injections of Nutritional Supplement D103 is quite interesting because of the ethical questions of whether this thing is really alive in any normal definition of the word. Surely, then, even a vegetarian could eat it because an artificially grown fine leg of meat doesn’t have a face?

People are often amused and intrigued when I say I won’t eat things like cheese unless I know it’s vegetarian. Then there follows a scouring of the packet to see what’s in it. People cannot believe that there could possibly be such a thing as non-vegetarian cheese, or yoghurt, or chocolate, or alcohol. Yes, it makes going out with me a rather fussy prospect. But maybe there will soon be a day when vegetarians ask, “Is the meat vegetarian?” – i.e. did it come off a real live animal, which was slaughtered, or was it grown in a test tube?

No, the thought actually repulses me. I couldn’t do it.

But surely there’s something rather stupid about this concept of – “there will soon be 9 billion people on the planet, let’s feed them all meat”? Because rather than feed that grain to a pig, for you to eat the pig several months later, why not just eat the grain now? Furthermore, with future supplies of water rather precious, and the fact that animals need much more water than grain crops, environmental and economic logic will dictate a vegetarian diet for everyone. Or, at least, eating vastly less meat than we current do.

There are two sides to every tale, of course, and a totally vegetarian world isn’t the magic bullet. Moreover, the major issue that maybe gets swept aside in all these debates is perhaps 9 billion people on the planet is just a bit too many.

Never mind what they eat, what the hell will they all do? Surely the financial services sector can’t support another 3 billion bankers.

Ahh, facetiousness!


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