The Futility Monster

He'll pointlessly derive more enjoyment out of your resources than you

Parish Notice

Posted by The Futility Monster on October 10, 2009 @ 08:00

There's something rather heart-warming about seeing one of these...

There's something rather heart-warming about seeing one of these...

Good morning, fellow Futilitarians.

Assuming there’s someone out there…

I have some bad news, and I know it will cause you all great sorrow.

No, it’s not that Obama’s won the Nobel Peace Prize. Though that has indeed got one of my friends rather agitated. And the less said about the right-wing vitriol amongst the comments on politicalbetting.com, the better!

I am moving house on Saturday – moving some two hundred miles or so to a new, undisclosed location, like Dick Cheney’s secret base in Montana. Hang on, that’s Prison Break.

This move will necessitate some serious downtime. It all depends on how quickly I can get a) a phone line; or b) cable internet installed. I predict many weeks, going on past bad experience.

On the other hand, there may be a foolish neighbour with unsecure wi-fi I can steal. Now that would be a bonus. Stick that up your “culture of irresponsibility”, Cameron!

But until then, there will be mostly silence. Maybe I’ll sneak into a library (do those things still exist?) and churn out a quick Newsfelch if it’s starting to become a ridiculously long time. I wouldn’t want to lose my loyal followers, after all.

In the meantime, please ignore the Monster’s Poll – as it will date horrendously without my tweaking – and think of poor me, stuck with no internet for entertainment or distraction. Back to the bad old days of having to watch TV on a TV, listening to the radio on a radio, and reading newspapers in a newspaper. No way of releasing my pent-up political rage as I watch yet another infuriating instalment of Question Time.

Alas, it’s gonna have to be the feather quill and ink instead of the old typey-typey. Now that will be a culture shock.

I trust you will return for more fun and games in the future.

Cos I’m only just getting warmed up 🙂

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