The Futility Monster

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Pining For Palin

Posted by The Futility Monster on August 15, 2009 @ 09:30

Palin-Obama Presidential Debate 2012

Palin-Obama Presidential Debate 2012

No, not Michael Palin, unfortunately, but our gal Sarah.

Some opening remarks: she is crazy. I mean, absolutely crazy. How can anybody watch these two videos, where she unleashes a stream of consciousness, scrawled down onto a teleprompter, comprising a torrent of verbal diarrhoea,  ceaseless non-sequiturs, botched metaphors, effortlessly seguing from one subject to another, delivered in a breathless, swivel-eyed frenzy.

And relax. Now I’ve got that off my chest, I think I ought to turn this post over to the woman herself. These words are taken exactly from the second video linked above. How far can you get before you give up?

And getting up here I say it is the best road trip in America soaring through nature’s finest show. Denali, the great one, soaring under the midnight sun. And then the extremes. In the winter time it’s the frozen road that is competing with the view of ice fogged frigid beauty, the cold though, doesn’t it split the Cheechakos from the Sourdoughs? And then in the summertime such extreme summertime about a hundred and fifty degrees hotter than just some months ago, than just some months from now, with fireweed blooming along the frost heaves and merciless rivers that are rushing and carving and reminding us that here, Mother Nature wins. It is as throughout all Alaska that big wild good life teeming along the road that is north to the future. That is what we get to see every day. Now what the rest of America gets to see along with us is in this last frontier there is hope and opportunity and there is country pride.

Did any of that make any sense? Perhaps it’ll make more sense if William Shatner reads it. Can this person seriously be considered a candidate for the highest office on the planet? No, I’m not talking about Shatner, though he would make a pretty cool President.

But, apparently, she has a lot of fans over there. There are a significant number of Republicans who like her, so much so that her acolytes are preparing a strategy to get her into the White House.

Why else would she depart the governor’s mansion in Alaska?

It’s clear she has bigger ideas, and being stuck way out west was playing havoc with those very plans.

There were some, including me, who had thought her crushing defeat last November would be the end of her and she would drift away back into the obscurity from which she was plucked by a clearly batshit John McCain. After all, McCain could easily have dropped dead at any time over the next four years. No – it seems my hope of her disappearing is not going to happen.

But I think I’m going to credit Americans with some intelligence.

They may have elected George W. Bush. But I don’t think they’ll ever elect the Palindrone.

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One Response to “Pining For Palin”

  1. […] the debate either a finely balanced score-draw or, more often than not, a win for McCain. Even Failin’ Palin managed to rack up a great deal of […]

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