The Futility Monster

He'll pointlessly derive more enjoyment out of your resources than you

Yum Yum

Posted by The Futility Monster on June 19, 2009 @ 19:53

In a utilitarian world, the Utility Monster is King.

Argh! I'm coming to get you!

Argh! I'm coming to get you!

In the futilitarian world of politics… well, you can guess the rest.

It’s often said that politics is dull. Boring. Strike up a conversation about politics in the pub and the familiar sight of the glazed eyes, the shifty nervousness, the examination of hands, pockets, beer mats, whatever, symbolises the rapid waning of interest.

OK – you might elicit a comment such as, “They’re all the same” or “They’re all at it”. Maybe they are.

But if they dare to say politics is boring?

Shoot them down.

Right now, politics is the most interesting it has been for a long time. Scandals. Sleaze. Corruption. Radical reform. New parties. New issues. Recession. Riots. Revolution. Global warming. Old issues relevant again. Wars. Instability. Terrorism. 24 hour news. Spin. Elections.

Imminent change.

Politics is all around. From where you can park your car, to where America can park its missile defence system. From the lowliest pothole in the road to the craters in the Earth’s crust caused by nuclear testing. And that old climate change thing? Bloody hell: we’ve managed to turn that glowing ball of fusion energy in the sky into a political football.

To me, the choice is simple.

Shit or get off the pot.

Either get interested, get involved, get thinking, get creative, get motivated, get voting.

Or shut the fuck up, dig yourself a hole in the ground and get some kind chap to fill it in.

While you’re down there, thank your lucky stars that your privileged and fortunate existence means you have the right to be an ignoramus. That you have the right to live your life in blissful, selfish isolation – unlike the hundreds of thousands currently desperate to have even the tiniest bit of your freedoms in Iran, Tibet, Darfur…

And while you’re down there, the Futility Monster will take the former option.


Politics may be the most futile business around, but this humble author counts his lucky stars every day.

Maybe you ought to too?


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